CKY was one of my best friends. We met in 2018 when he came across my stream on Mixer and he said he was amazed at my moving banners and other whatnot. In the following days, he trolled me like crazy. Ofc, I trolled him back and we became fast friends. I made him one of my mods for my stream and community (against his will) and we took off from there. We would spend 16+ hours working together in private. He helped me build my computers, fix broken things around the house, we coded/made interactive things, discussed strategies, and yelled at companies about how their shit is broken and how they can improve it. Was it healthy? Probably not, but it was super fun and we were passionate. During those long hours together, we also talked about our lives, experiences, families, and troubles. We shared memes, jokes, and all kinds of whatnot. We became very close those first couple of years.
In the subsequent years, with the fall of Mixer and some terrible events in my life, we stopped talking as much. Still would here and there, but it was considerably less and I was no longer working on my stream or community. I got too busy and too overwhelmed to be online very much. This is my biggest regret in our friendship. I pulled away and feel like I left him hanging. I am grateful for all the other people he had time to spend with after that, though, and that he was able to spend larger amounts of time in his own stream and working on other projects. I would pop in every so often, but definitely should have been there more. I invited him to my wedding last month, but he couldn’t come unfortunately, so I never got to meet him in person and give him the biggest hug that he deserved.
Since his death, I have spent every day working on art for him and talking to people about him (since I can’t talk with him anymore)….things I feel I should have done long before he passed. I sent his family flowers and condolences and lamented over being too far to actually attend his funeral. Now, I have set up this site for him and everyone that knew him. I have been loving hearing the stories of who he talked to, how he helped people, and what he did. I thought he would always be there for me to talk to, to hear his voice that I so often hear in my head, and its so very hard knowing that I can no longer reach out to him. He was a big part of my adult life and I’m not sure where to go from here, especially with online things. Rest in peace, CKY, I fucking love you and miss you with all my heart.
-Jenn